Actively Anxious about Activism

As the world becomes increasingly more connected, more and more political and social discussions become addressed online. We now have the ability to raise awareness, educate ourselves and actively contribute to causes that matter to us in ways that we couldn’t before. Digital activism allows all voices to be heard and in recent years, activism has taken immense leaps forward.

But, like there always is, there’s a flip side to its impact. The constant exposure to everything going wrong in the world can quickly take a toll on your mental health and increase anxiety. Eco-anxiety is especially prevalent example of this where people feel almost helpless by the state of the climate crisis. I, like many other people, feel this toll constantly – What if its too late to save the world? There’s too much to do and too little time. What if I am not doing enough?

With everything so overwhelming, it’s important to take steps to protect your mental health. While I am definitely not an expert on the matter, and am a work in progress myself, here’s some things to remember that help me –

Action is the antidote to anxiety
I read this phrase somewhere, and it struck a chord with me. Whenever you feel anxious about a cause you care about, try to contribute to it in whatever way possible. Whether that’s simply talking to your friends about it to raise awareness, signing and sharing petitions or attending a rally. Small steps of action only push the needle forward and contribute to the cause. Action not only makes you feel better mentally but also lead you to pathways to do more.

Every cause does not have to be yours to solve
If you have the capacity to contribute to multiple causes efficiently and take care of your mental health simultaneously, by all means do so. But if you recognise that you are someone that starts feeling anxious when you have too much on your plate, it is more than okay to choose one thing and focus your energy into working towards that goal. We don’t need some people to work on everything perfectly to move forward, we need many people working towards betterment in their own imperfect ways.

Your mental health comes first
On flights, when the safety instructions come on, they tell you to put on your own safety mask first before you help others – a perfect metaphor for life. Prioritizing your mental health often feels like a selfish thing to do but in reality, it’s quite the opposite. Your mental well-being enables you to prosper and work better towards things you care about. It enables you to live longer, healthier and enriched lives giving you the strength and mental capability to keep the fight going!

Finally, and most importantly, remember the weight of the world’s burden does not rest on your shoulders alone. We are all in this together, we all sometimes struggle with our role in activism and you are not alone in your battle with your mental health.

Your anxiety about activism comes from your strength and drive to fight for a better future for humanity, and we are lucky to have people like you around! Now, all you have to do is practice your empathy inward, so that all you people making the world a better place, feel better yourselves.

The rewards of putting your mental health first – my journey

Three years ago, on this very day, I was on a flight back home, looking out of the window with no idea what my future was going to look like. I was scared and nervous of course, but in my own little way I was proud. It was the first time in my life I had decided to put my mental health first – to change everything around me to prioritise my happiness. And while I didn’t know it yet, it turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made.

I had been at a university, one that was absolutely beautiful and one that became the place I made my friends that I now hold dearest. From any viewer’s eye, I should have been perfectly happy, but I quickly realised I was not. I didn’t feel like myself, I’d want to spend my days in bed and I couldn’t understand what was happening to me. At the time, I remember thinking I would just suck it up – this was my life now, I’d get through three years and then maybe, I could find my way again. Changing things wasn’t even in my realm of possibilities.

Luckily for me, all that changed. “You should drop out!” said my mother, when I finally broke down about how I was feeling 3 months in. I had held it together as long as I could but sometimes, one question from your mom is all you need to tear down the water gates. Drop out? How was that an option? What will I do instead? What will people think?

To her the answer was simple –“Well you aren’t happy right? Let’s fix that first, everything else will follow” A simple idea, but how revolutionary.

And that’s what brought me on the flight. On my way home, having packed all my things and said my goodbyes, I was now officially a college drop out.

It’s been three years now, and I write this blog post sitting in a new country, in my favourite city that I now get to call my second home. I got to go to a new university that I absolutely love on a scholarship – something I never thought I had the potential to achieve. I got to make new friends, see new places and feel passionate about what I study.

That’s not to say that it was never difficult. Some of my worst battles with mental health came after that flight, because mental health is a constant battle. But those days passed, like they always do, and got replaced with the days of contentment and joy I get to experience now, each battle having made me just a little bit stronger than before. I learnt to build love for myself and choose what I wanted from life. Against all the doubts and anxiety I had on that flight home, things did get better, much better than I imagined at the time.

One simple yet revolutionary decision to put myself first, and choose my own happiness, changed my life.

I stayed off Instagram for nearly half a year, and here’s what I learnt

Dealing with your mental health can always feel a little difficult, but add to that a global pandemic and you learn just how taxing it can be. Social media has often been found to pose risks to one’s emotional and mental health, and at the very beginning of this pandemic I felt myself experiencing its toll. So, just like that, in March I took the executive decision that I would delete Instagram off my phone and with that started my longest ever social media hiatus. Just as most people, I had my own concerns about being ‘cut off’ from this form of social interaction, but 5 months later, here are a few things I learnt –

It really does help
Your mental health and well being is likely to improve. The effectiveness of me being off Instagram was my primary concern but within the first week itself, I found myself feeling better. Social media does show the best of other peoples lives and often we can get caught up in comparing theirs to ours. But being off Instagram, my mind was more preoccupied by what I want to do rather than watching what other people were doing. I was able to work toward my goals and my happiness, regardless of what other people are doing, and what better way to take care of your mind than that? While it’s something we should practice even when we’re active on social media, if a break is what you need to teach yourself how to make yourself a priority, take that break!

You’re not going to miss out on much
When you first decide to quit social media, the FOMO hits you hard. What are people talking about nowadays? What are your friends upto? What are you missing out on? While all these questions are valid, it’s important to remember that this decision was made for your own mental wellbeing and that comes first. When I rejoined Instagram five months later, all I had missed were pictures of people’s food, posts of their pets, or stories of their friends. Social media becomes such a big part of our lives that cutting it out feels like a huge step, but you’re really not missing out on anything essential to your path in life. There will always be time to catch up on other people’s journey, but if you need time to work on on yours, make time to do that.

Credit: @florencegiven

People that matter will find a way to stay connected
All that being said, human beings are social animals that often need interaction. But social media is not the only way to do so. We’re lucky to live in an age where its so easy to stay in touch. You need to be off Instagram for a bit or don’t feel upto using Facebook? That’s fine, there now atleast five other apps that will help you call or text the people you care about. People that genuinely care about you will always want what’s best for you, and if that means they have to screenshot a meme and send it to you later instead of directly, then they will do that. When you take the first step to value your mental health, those around can only support you.

Activism and information is everywhere
Now, this might not be a concern shared by everyone, but as someone who tries to stay active in different conversations of activism, I was concerned about how to stay involved. Instagram is quickly becoming a great outlet to incite conversation and read more information around relevant topics. As activism has been taking major strides around the world these past few months, not being on Instagram made me feel like I wasn’t being a part of the conversation. But it wasn’t long before I realised that our contribution to causes we care about doesn’t have to be on social media. It can be through educating yourself, reading books, having dialogues at home or challenging the opinions of your friends. You can also volunteer to multiple causes from home, donate money or sign petitions. There’s more to activism that posting information on your story, and being off Instagram helped me engage better in these other forms in new ways!

To me, my short hiatus was more refreshing than anything else. Taking small, simple steps towards improving your mental wellbeing will make huge differences in your life. While in my case, it was cutting out the ‘noise’ of social media for a while, for you it might be something else completely. The biggest lesson to take away from this experience however, is to prioritise your mental health and work towards its betterment. Even though it’s natural to have your concerns, I can assure you that you will look back and find more positivity in the journey than you initially imagined!

Staying positive, spreading love

It’s been a long time since I have been able to write for my beloved blog, but now seems like a better time than any to write about mental health. Since the last time I posted something, the whole world seems to have changed its course, with a novel virus changing the way we lead our lives for the time being.

Amid social distancing, dealing with mental health can be quite hard. Considering that everywhere you look, the coronavirus seems to be the only thing you see/read about, how can one maintain a healthy/positive mindset? How do you deal with depression and anxiety when you have to isolate yourself from the rest of the world?  Here’s my top tips.

• Try to limit your level of news reading per day – Trust me, I know how hard this is to do. But constantly reading updates on what’s happening around the world tends to only increase your anxiety. Stay knowledgeable and informed, but cut yourself off after a while. Rather, chose to fill the rest of your day with good news! Follow pages like The Happy Newspaper and Upworthy that focus on all that is still good in the world.

• Use this time to fuel your passion projects! – Remember how you always wanted to write that book? Or how you wanted to learn how to cook? Or how you wanted to pick up a paintbrush and paint your happiest memory? DO IT. If you are practising social distancing (and you should be) and you are at home, you have all this free time that is just waiting to be filled with activities that you always wanted to do but couldn’t find the time to. Learn how to dance, play an instrument or finish reading all those new, untouched books on your shelves! Who knows, you might even find a new favourite hobby.

• Stay connected – Social isolation does not mean you have to be left lonely. We are blessed to live in the age of the internet and if that’s a luxury you have access to, use it. Video call friends and family across the world and stay connected. Catch up with people that you haven’t had time to call in the past. Hear their stories and share yours. The human connection has the capacity to lift your spirit in multiple ways, use it in this difficult time to stay positive.

• Set a schedule/goals for yourself – If you don’t have classes or work right now, try not to stay in bed all day. Try to still get ready every morning with a sense of purpose and a plan. Try to eat your meals on time and maybe even exercise. Planning your day doesn’t always have to be extremely productive. Spend a day simply redoing your room, or catching up on classes and binging your favourite shows. Planning days out simply remind you that you don’t have to sit idle letting negative thoughts consume you, rather you can choose to lift yourself up and still feel great!

And that’s it! Those are just some quick fix ideas. I know that there are so many more things you can do to stay positive but most importantly, I hope you take this time to reflect. Reflect on how much time before this you spent worrying about the future and how it can all change so suddenly. We plan things down to each tiny detail, but sometimes life has other plans. So, when we come out on the other side and, and we will, try to lead a life where you choose happiness every minute of everyday. And until then, in this difficult time, I hope you manage to stay happy, positive and stay safe.

If only – a poem from me to you

Men cry too

It’s International Men’s day and it’s time for a little reminder that men deal with mental health issues too.

Image from the Mental Health Foundation website

It seems like such a basic concept – all of us are human beings going through this journey of life experiencing our own problems and dealing with our own fair share of suffering. Yet we’ve created a strange world where women are constantly told to smile more, and men are constantly expected to cry less. At some point in time, gender roles became a determiner of emotions, and it’s increasingly important to stress that it’s okay for men to cry too.

Recent studies show that 12.5% of men in the UK are suffering from one of the common mental health disorders. Over three out of four suicides are by men and suicide is the biggest cause of death for men under 35. Only one in four men feel able to talk to their family when they’re feeling increasingly stressed.

These statistics reflect the sad reality we live in – one where male emotion is expected to be suppressed causing issues of mental health to only worsen.

So what can we do to change that? How can we change the association of the phrase ‘be a man’ from hiding emotion to showing it? I truly believe that we can all do our part.

Parents – Teach your sons it’s okay to cry just as you would with your daughters. Hone their sensitivity and watch them grow up to be empathetic and caring individuals. As fathers, cry in front of your children. So many kids look up to their fathers as role models and watching them experience emotion, teaches them that this is the norm. They go out into the world with the understanding that strong, incredible men like their dads, cry too.

Young adults – Encourage sensitivity amongst your peers and friends. When that guy in your friend group is crying about his break up, don’t laugh at him or tell him to ‘man up’, listen to him instead. If your boyfriend cries over something that hurt him, appreciate him opening up to you. Teach your brothers that crying doesn’t make them weak, rather being able to experience emotion makes him tough. Reach out to the men in your life and check in on them.

Together, if we all do our part, we might just be able to make lives easier for young boys who would be able to grow up in a world where their emotions are not bound by societies expectations, rather they could truly feel and experience life freely.

Finally, to any male readers, this is your reminder that it’s okay to cry. Whether it’s happy tears over someone you are proud of, if you are sad about a certain loss, or even if that song you just heard made you emotional – it is okay to cry. Let it out and experience emotion – be a man.

For more information on men’s mental health check out the Mental Health Foundation Website

How helping others will help save you

My journey of volunteering with Radio Lollipop and how its helped my mental well-being

When a mental illness weighs you down, everything around you can tend to seem more gloomy. It often becomes harder to see all the good there is out there in the world. And that is why I began to search for ways to be the good and add my small contribution of kindness to the world. One of the easiest ways I found to do that is through volunteering!

I currently volunteer at an organisation called Radio Lollipop at the Great North Children’s hospital, Newcastle and it has, without a doubt, been one of the most amazing, gratifying experiences of my life.

Radio Lollipop is an international charity that provides comfort, care and entertainment to children undergoing treatment in hospitals. What this means is, me and the team of other amazing volunteers, have the privilege of being able to go into wards and work hard to make each child’s day just a little brighter by playing games with them, singing for them or even interacting with them over the radio.

The children I get to meet are resilient, strong and absolutely adorable bunches of joy. When I set out to help them, I could have never foreseen how much of a positive impact they would have on my own mental health and my life. Being able to add positivity to the world around you ultimately, adds positivity within. Volunteering builds a sense of compassion and empathy within you, enabling you to find gratitude in your own life.

Through my journey with Radio Lollipop, I’ve been able to calm my mind. When the stress of university or the sadness of being away from home seeps in, I’m able to not only momentarily escape those problems, but more importantly remind myself of the good in my life, which makes most problems seem insignificant.  My experience has helped build a greater sense of purpose within me, reminding me that a small bit of my effort can help those around me and make an impact.

I believe that when you are dealing with mental health issues, honing compassion can help you tremendously. Studies have found a list of mental health benefits linked to being more compassionate. Building a more compassionate world view enables you to look at yourself with a greater sense of love and empathy. As Dalai Lama once said “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

Its been over a year now at my stint at Radio Lollipop, and I am determined and excited to carry on this journey. I hope after reading this, you too are able to find a cause in your own life that you are passionate about – whether it’s helping the environment, animals, or the elderly – and put your heart into making the world a better place. And ultimately, in our combined efforts to save the world, not only are we making a more accepting environment for mental heath issues, but also tackling our own!

If you’d like to get involved at Radio Lollipop, visit their website here!

A conversation with Anna about Anxiety

Welcome to a new blog segment – Real students, real stories!

A blog about student mental health wouldn’t be complete without the stories of students themselves. So for the first profile piece, I talked to Anna Melnik about her journey with mental health and her methods of coping with mental health issues.

Anna’s mental health story

Born in Portland, Oregon, Anna is a 20-year-old student studying Journalism, Communication and Cultural studies at Newcastle University. As one of the hardest working people I know, Anna is also the Deputy Director of Operation Period, a digital marketeer at Starfish Luxury Rentals and a part-time worker at university. While many things have made her the person she is today, her journey with her mental health has been a key influencing factor. Anna has dealt with anxiety through her life.

“I remember dealing with anxiety as a kid, but not having the vocabulary for what I was experiencing. It wasn’t until high school that I realised that what I was experiencing was anxiety”

Anna on dealing with anxiety

In 2017, she moved to Costa Rica to pursue her undergraduate education. Due to a sense of dissatisfaction with her course and the lack of a strong support system around her, Anna struggled with issues of anxiety. She would feel physical manifestations of her anxiety in the form of pain in her chest and also dealt with disassociation.

Disassociation can be understood to be a process wherein an individual feels disconnected from their sense of identity, thoughts, emotions and even surroundings. It can be especially hard for young people to deal with due to a lack of conversation around what it entails. It is one of the many key factors that differentiates stress from anxiety.

In an inspiring step to put her mental health first, Anna dropped out of the program at Costa Rica. One year later, she joined Newcastle University and is currently working hard in her multiple roles. While her extreme hard work and work ethic speak for themselves, Anna believes that her high productivity comes as a by product of her anxiety.

Coping with anxiety – Travelling

Finding a way to cope with one’s mental health is extremely important, and for Anna it came in the form of travelling. In the past two years, Anna has been to over ten countries and is now the creator of the travel blog – travel, study, repeat

Travelling wasn’t merely a means of escape for Anna, rather a journey of exploration, learning and self reflection.

Even though travelling can often be a trigger point for anxiety, for Anna it became a point of growth. Meeting new people, seeing new places and learning about new cultures helped her look at new ways of life and learn how to adapt to them.

Being brought up in a western society where I was taught to work all the time, travelling became my way of coping. It made me realise the value of surrounding myself with people that love me and creating time in my day to do something for myself.

Anna on how travel helped with her anxiety

Today, Anna believes that she has come a long way in her mental health journey compared to where she was last year. She is a representation of the fact that no matter how difficult things may seem at a certain point in your life, they can get better!

Our conversation was vulnerable and honest. Down below you can listen to the raw, exclusive piece!

To check out more of this conversation, check out Anna’s blog travel, study, repeat

aDVICE TO OTHER STUDENTS

Anna believes that the most valuable lesson on how to deal with mental health issues is through finding a balance. She encourages making time to read books, exercising, eating well and just living life as some key ways to being more balanced. She also believes that everyone should try to go to therapy, regardless of your mental situation.

Dealing with anxiety, panic attacks and disassociation often made her feel weak – an issue numerous students tend to face. Yet, she choose to be vulnerable and speak out about her experiences as a way to encourage conversation. She hopes that other young individuals find the courage to talk about their experiences and help fight the stigma of mental health issues together.

Be a part of the change. Find out more on how you can get involved on page 2!

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5 life practices to calm and heal the mind

Image: Taken at Wicklow Mountains, Ireland

Some days are harder than others. I came across a bunch of these particularly hard days, all pushed up together, making it feel like my whole life was just a collection of a difficult time and I’d just have to get used to it.

What I didn’t know then however, was that the hard time in my life would teach me lessons that I value and practice the most now. And that’s what I want to share with you today – my small hacks at making life feel a little easier on your hardest days.

• Count your blessings – Every day, look around you and find things you are grateful for and make an acknowledgment of them. It can be the gratitude you feel in being with your family and friends, or in the fact that the sun is out that day, or simply feeling grateful that you got to pet that puppy that walked by. Gratitude in the big things of life and the small. You are blessed to have this day and blessed to have this life. Remind yourself that through the gift of gratitude.

• Be here, now – If you take a second to think about it, so much of your day’s mental space is taken up in thinking about the past or the future. Hours and hours filled with regretful ‘what ifs’ and hopeful ‘somedays’. Learning how to push through all that noise, to experience this moment, right now is one of the most helpful lessons I ever learnt. When you notice this ‘noise’ in your head, look at your surroundings and focus on something in the now – the light in your room, the color of the leaves, the smell of the rain, anything! Find peace in this moment now, and suddenly nothing else matters.

• Try new things – Try anything and everything – try new food, meet new people, learn new activities! When I was healing, I said yes to every opportunity in front of me – from cheerleading tryouts to learning basic sign language, I made sure that I exercised my mind thoroughly. Don’t find distractions, find new passions. As people often point out, the mind is a muscle that needs exercise to stay healthy, and what better way to do that than to experience the various opportunities all around you!

• Find acts of kindness – Helping others will ultimately help you in ways you couldn’t have imagined. If you have the time, choose to volunteer with an organisation whose cause means something to you. If you don’t, find kindness in smaller things – how can you make someone’s day better? Can you compliment someone on the way the look that day, hold the door open for someone in a rush, spend a few minutes to talk to someone homeless or stay back to cheer for someone playing on the streets? Putting out positivity out into the world is sure to bring back positivity within.

• Be compassionate to yourself – Be kind, loving and forgiving to yourself. This is something I personally took a while to build. Sometimes we find it easier to be compassionate to the world around us but choose to be hard on ourselves. We choose to hold our mistakes and regrets so tightly to our hearts that it never lets us heal completely. Let things go. Choose to forgive yourself for your mistakes, let go of your anger or guilt. Choose to love who you are, you were and who you chose to be tomorrow.

I understand that at a first glance these practices seem more philosophical than feasible, but they are practices I try to live by. Not that I am able to successfully do so every day, but I believe that it’s the effort to inculcate them into your being that matters. Not only do I hope that each of you find my practices helpful, but I further encourage you to find your own small hacks at life that make your days feel easier.

Being Mindful on Halloween!

this halloween beware of the scariest act of all – the act of ignorancE

For many people, Halloween is just a festive night of fun and spooky! If asked about the relation between mental health and Halloween, it wouldn’t come as a surprise that a lot of people would think there isn’t any. Sadly, they could not be more wrong!

Halloween can be an especially daunting time for people with mental health issues such as anxiety. Constant ringing door bell due to trick or treaters, an increased level of social interaction or being scared by strangers on the street can all act as triggers for increased anxiety and panic attacks.

Dr Stuart Sadler, a Chartered Psychologist and Counsellor at Newcastle Psychologist & Counselling said: ” “Halloween can be a lot of fun for people, while for others it can be a time of anxiety. People living by themselves or those that have experienced anxiety or trauma can find it difficult having people come to their door in scary costume threatening ‘trick or treat’.

“Similarly certain costumes can remind people of traumatic experiences, especially when people dress up and role play their character towards a complete stranger.”

Halloween, thus acts as a ground to further the stigmas related to mental health. Haunted houses are portrayed as mental asylums. People choose to dress up as someone with a mental illness, and choose to wear straight-jackets and act ‘crazy’.

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These images are taken from the Time to Change Halloween campaign

This is all extremely problematic in multiple ways. It not only causes distress for those who are battling mental illnesses, but it also trivialises their struggle. It further perpetuates stereotypes, and misinforms people as to what mental health issues actually are.

Eleanor Segall, blogger and freelance writer, who wrote for the Metro on this topic last year, said: “I have social anxiety so knocks on the door late at night on Halloween are a bit scary for me due to the theme of the night. But generally I love Halloween – the pumpkins, costumes and seeing friends when able is fun.

“I think its important that those living with psychosis, depression, hearing voices, anxiety and any other mental illness are treated with kindness and respect. Halloween with its frightening themes can worsen mental health.”

This raises the question of how, we as individuals, can change this?

1. Be mindful and considerate – understand that mental health issues can be truly hard and choose to avoid triggers such as scaring people in the street or playing games like ‘ding dong ditch’
2. Choose your costumes mindfully – Look at your costume and ask yourself if you are perpetuating problematic stereotypes. Help educate your friends to by checking if their costume could act as a trigger. To refer to a quote from a great article about this topic, “to dress like someone with serious mental health issues, just wear your normal clothes and don’t go to a Halloween party.”
3. Start conversations – If you see people in the streets scaring people walking by, or see a haunted house that is made out to be a mental asylum, try and speak out. Speak to the people doing it and explain the implications. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, talk to your friends next to you instead. Either way, you are making a difference.
4. Check on your friends regularly – If you are going to a social event like a Halloween party, check on your friends. Social anxiety disorders and panic disorders are known as invisible illnesses and it is possible to not to know if your friend might suffer from them. Checking on each other is a healthy way to combat this.
5. Have fun – The most important one, is to remember to have fun. Remember that you are just being asked to be considerate to other people, not being told not to celebrate. People struggling with mental health issues do not need or ask for your sympathy, but instead encourage sensitivity!

So here’s wishing you a happy, spooky Halloween! By the simple acts of mindfulness, help eradicate the horrible Halloween horrors of not considering mental health!